Christmas Pain
by Sage-Kandy
Summary: Prequil to my story Just Another Holiday...It's Christmas in Konoha. What does this mean for our Heroes? I thought I would do some explaining to the actual story I wrote... Rated for emo-content...


_**Song by Goo Goo Dolls: "Iris"**_

Snow fell softly to the earth, coating it in a slight blanket of white. People were running around, humming softly to themselves enjoying the light snow fall. Christmas was a popular holiday everywhere, with everyone. In fact you could easily count on one hand who DIDN'T like Christmas in Konoha. On this fine day, ninja clad in black, and dark blues contrasted greatly with their surroundings and stood out to the passing civilians. There was one ninja in particular that stood out this particularly fine day. Wearing orange often did that to a person, especially in the winter. He and his team had just returned from a particularly easy D-rank mission, and had split up to go home. The orange clad boy, with hair as bright as the sun, walked with his head bowed and for once, completely subdued. He passed by a random ice-cream shop, looking in to see a girl with the same color eyes and hair as him. He stopped, and smiled slightly at the happy picture.

"At least someone in our family will be having a happy Christmas. Hope you get everything you want, little sis" the young boy turned and continued to walk, oblivious to the stare the younger girl had given him. The day was chilly and, unaware of the snowfall; the boy had walked out of his shabby apartment without his cloak. His black haired teammate had scolded him for it, and made him feel even worse than he already had, but he had continued with their mission, not once allowing his mask to falter.

Without having realized it, the blond now stood in front of his apartment building. Bringing his hand up to open the door, he was startled when a rock hit him from behind.

"Hey, demon-spawn…going home for Christmas?" the voice dripped with sarcasm. Turning, Naruto found another ninja standing behind him.

"Why bother, brat? Nobody's waiting for you anyways…nobody ever does. Hehehe" the second voice was just as cold as the first. Shivering, Naruto looked at the two ninja before him. One must have been in his late thirties, with black hair that reached down to his shoulder and brown eyes. He was wearing the standard ninja cloak for extra warmth, as well as a Jounin vest and a short sword. The second had a kunai already drawn, a dark look in his dark brown eyes. From another quick glance, Naruto concluded that they were brothers…brothers that had probably lost their parents to the great beast sealed inside him. He smiled slightly, trying his best not to just make a dash for his life. After all, it wasn't their fault that they hated him, and he couldn't bring himself to hate them back. Not when he would have done the same thing in their stead.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now  
_

Bright blue eyes opened to the pinkness of the snow around him. Trying to stand he noticed that he was covered by a thin blanket of snow, indicating that he'd been out for quite some time. His wounds were already closed over, his bruises long gone. Just the slight pink in the snow was any indication that he had ever been injured. Sighing, he sat up and looked down at his body. He chuckled as he removed his sweater. There were holes and slashes through it, and it wouldn't do him if someone actually thought they had affected him. As he removed his sweater his arms started to goose over, and a small shiver ran through the boy's body. Once the thick material was off the only thing still covering the boys arms were the short sleeves of the too-small black t-shirt he had for the past three years and the white bandages that went all the way from his wrist to his elbow. Underneath those bandages were the only scars on his body. He chuckled ironically, before unwrapping his right arm from its confines.

"Merry Christmas, Naruto. Your present? More scars, of course!" he said this brightly, and had a happy grin on his face, but inside…Naruto died, just a little more. He took out his kunai, and looked at his arm. His arm wasn't just the usual set of cuts and slits…no, his pain was far more artistic that that. On his right arm was a picture of fox, with nine fluffy tails, each tipped like a mountain capped with snow, and two deep eyes. The paws of the fox were capped like the tails, and the snout had a huge fox grin and two large fangs protruding out of it. The fur was made of a bunch of squiggly scars, and its ears were flat on its head. The fox on his arm looked beautiful and majestic, nothing like the one in the text books. Around the paws were other, lesser foxes, jumping and looking up at the larger fox in awe. They were nothing more that a couple of inches each, and could easily pass as grass, but to the more trained eye…well, lets just say that it was fairly amazing. On the back of the fox, almost reaching the back of Naruto's arm, were four young men, as small as any one of the lesser foxes. These men, to those who noticed them, were known as the four great Hokage of Konoha. Taking the kunai in his hand, he started to draw with it on the palm of his hand. On his hand, he drew a forest, large trees and small shrubs. He even managed to draw a few more foxes in there. He smiled warmly at his art work, feeling every bit of pride a good artist should feel. He'd worry about other places to scar later, when he returned home. Right now, he was intent of watching his blood run down his arm, coloring his dark flesh red, and then fall to the ground. The snow stained red for only a moment, before draining in and turning into a friendly pink.

"We all bleed the same, my ass…" the young boy mumbled, as he started to unravel the other hand, revealing a picture of Konoha, in all its glory. Buildings covered his entire left arm, showing just how much he cared for the village. He took up his kunai again, and started to fine tune his miniature map. After all, things in Konoha changed daily. He had to keep updated, now, didn't he?

The apartment smelt of blood, tears, and fear. As he walked in, he remembered years of anguish spent here. He turned as the door he had just entered through flew open.

"What the…?" he looked over, and saw nobody but Sasuke, standing in the doorway.

__

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life   
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight  


Uchiha Sasuke was running frantically through the trees of Konoha forest, searching for his missing friend and teammate. The dope had been reported missing early that morning, when he had failed to show up for morning practice. Two Jounin had owned up to having seen him the night before, heading to his apartment building. When searched, the apartment seemed to have been vacant for several weeks. The land owner said he hadn't seen the boy for the longest time, and that he had yet to pay his rent. Given that, Team 7 had spent the rest of the day searching for the boy, as it wouldn't do for him to get sick, lost, or die. Sasuke was already fairly deep into the forest, and was about to turn back when he noticed a patch of pink in the snow, and fresh tracks leading back to the village. He picked up the kunai, and from the shabby state it was in he concluded that it was Naruto's. The steps led back to Konoha, so perhaps another stop at his apartment wouldn't hurt. He ran full speed back to the village, hoping to either spot the other ninja, or find him safe and unharmed at home.

When he arrived at the apartment building he easily got some guy to let him in. He quickly marched to the dope's door and knocked it down, not even bothering to check if it was unlocked or not. Sure enough, standing right in the middle of his apartment was Naruto, cold, shivering, and in only his t-shirt. His sweater hung loosely around his waist, a part he must have ripped off now acting like a bandage on his right hand. They stared blankly at each other, blinking a couple of times before either said anything.

"What the fuck was that for, teme? The door was unlocked!" Naruto growled as he dropped his hands to his sides to hide them slightly.

"Where were you? Why were you bleeding? What happened? Why have you not been living in your apartment for the past few weeks?" Sasuke asked as he picked Naruto up from the front of his soaked black shirt.

"I was in the forest, I injured myself while training, and I keep falling asleep in the forest or just get knocked out by one of my clones…" Naruto stated, taking Sasuke's hand and freeing himself.

"Show me your arms…" Sasuke's voice held ice in them…the demand was clear. Naruto looked at him for a long time before simply turning around.

"I need a rain check, if you don't mind. Have a seat on the couch…make yourself comfortable" Naruto mumbled, walking towards his bedroom. He didn't get far though, as a hand reached out and snatched his elbow.

"I said…Show. Me. Your. Arms!" Sasuke ripped Naruto around to face him, his eyes blazing red. Naruto didn't even flinch. He was about to reply in the negative when Sasuke simply took out Naruto's old and used kunai and cut through the bandages on his arms. Naruto knew immediately that it was over. Sasuke stared, completely shocked, at the works of art that Naruto's arms were.

"…" speechless, Sasuke simply continued to stare at his friend's arms.

__

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  


The next day came and went, with Naruto getting scolded for having fallen asleep in the forest, and Sasuke acting like he had never seen a thing of Naruto's pain. It was Naruto's thing, and he would come out with it when he was ready. Naruto grinned, his eyes shut to his surroundings. Christmas was only a few weeks away, and like always, it didn't matter.

'Nobody gonna give me anything anyways…I'm just that nuisance and the dead-last. If only mom were still around…maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much…' his mind wandered, though outside he was cheery and annoying.

'I always knew about the fox, yet I had thought that my mom would be stronger than the others. The law was against her, so instead of killing me she killed herself. I was too young to take care of Kai then, but at least she's happy where she is now. It wouldn't do if she were like me, now would it?'

Naruto came out of his musings when he noticed the two ninja who had been his last beaters. He smiled happily at them from across the street, showing them no sign of being hurt by their actions. Why let them think they won? No…Uzumaki Naruto didn't lose. He was born a burden, and he had to live the life of a monster. The ninja glared at him and huffed. It gave him the distinct feeling that he'd be in for another beating that night. His grin widened…he never fought back. That didn't mean that he didn't know how to ward them off. He knew other places where he could go.

"Oi, Naruto! Would you hurry up already? You're slowing us down!" Sakura yelled, thumping him upside the head before stomping up ahead. What did it matter what pinky wanted. HE stopped and mulled that thought over for a bit. Then, grinning even more he turned and let them walk towards the Hokage Tower, while he went to a clearing, miles away from Konoha, with a slight pink patch in the center. He didn't notice the look Sasuke threw him as he walked away.

__

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive  


Snow fell softly to the earth, coating it in a slight blanket of white. People were running around, humming softly to themselves enjoying the light snow fall. It was one day to Christmas, and Naruto had a headache from all the annoying songs being sung.

'And they say _I'm _annoying? These songs are worse by _far_!'

The blond boy clad in an orange jumpsuit wasn't paying attention to the roads that day, and did not notice the two ninja who had been waiting for him there. Walking into them, he immediately wished he could just run away. But he couldn't, because these ninja had every right to want him dead.

"Uh…hi there, fellow Nin. Is there something I can help you with?" Naruto asked nervously. He backed up into a side alley, not wanting the little kids to get any ideas.

"Yeah…we just came back from an unsuccessful mission, and we need a punching bag. Know where we can find a good one?" the older of the two.

"Nope…" Naruto had hoped that in the spirit of Christmas they would just laugh and walk away. Not them…they continued to advance until Naruto hit a dead end.

"That's funny…I see a pretty good one right in front of me" the younger man stated, pulling out his sword. Naruto just had time to gulp before they started to beat him up. The beating didn't last long, only about enough to immobilize him.

"You know…I haven't had a good lay in a while, bro. You mind?" the younger man stated. The words were lost on Naruto's beaten mind for only a second. As soon as the man unzipped his pants Naruto knew that he'd have a hard time walking for the next little while. He tried to become part of the wall…to just melt into the shadows and be gone, but it didn't work and it showed once the man advancing on him grabbed him and moved him into rape position. Naruto wasn't naïve…he'd been raped before and these were never pleasant times. The man positioned him on top of him and pushed in, moaning at the feel. Naruto winced, tears starting to slide down his cheeks. Just as he thought this day couldn't get any worse…

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" the voice at the beginning of the alley was familiar. The attention of both ninja was immediately turned to the boy getting in their way.

"Stay out of this kid…this is something between adults…" the older man stated, glaring at Sasuke. The last thing they heard was the sound of a thousand birds chirping.

__

And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
Chorus  


Azure blue eyes opened lazily to the world around him. The first thing they took in was that the ceiling was different from the one he usually woke up to seeing. Sitting up abruptly, the boy with azure eyes and bright yellow eyes took in his surroundings. He was definitely not at his apartment right now…so where was he. He blinked slowly, looking down at his arms. Brand new bandages covered his arms, from wrist to elbow.

"You're awake…" the familiar voice of his teammate woke Naruto from his reverie.

"Sasuke…" suddenly the memories flooded back to him, reminding him of the pain in his ass.

"They didn't allow you entrance into the hospital, so I did the best I could with the stuff I have here. Sorry…" It could have easily been for not having done a perfect job in healing him, but Naruto knew what he really meant.

"It's not your fault, Sasuke. It's…It's not the first time those two have given me trouble…nor is it the first time I've been…raped…" Naruto's speech seemed to have left him as he looked down at his calloused hands.

"Why…? Why you…?" Sasuke whispered quietly, looking at him with pity. Obviously that wasn't the best thing to do. Naruto met Sasuke's gaze, an angry glare clouding his blue eyes.

"Why do you care? You never did before. Thanks for saving me…but I think it's for the best if you just pretend it never happened. I've done fine on my own until now. Even if I don't fight back…it doesn't mean I need rescuing…" Naruto stood, wincing slightly at the pain in his legs. He didn't let that slow him down however.

"Naruto, please! For once I didn't mean to insult you! Just calm down…I won't tell anyone or make you listen to what I have to say, just…at least let me help you recover…" Sasuke looked down, his a softening slightly. He had no idea how much pain Naruto had to endure.

"I'll be fine…" Naruto mumbled, turning his head away. His pain was his own, and nobody should have to suffer with him, "Thanks anyways…"

_  
I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
_

Christmas Eve was upon them, and Naruto and Sasuke couldn't be lonelier. Naruto sat placidly in his clearing, humming a soft tune to nobody in particular.

"You'll catch a cold out here, without a jacket …dope" Sasuke, with his dark hair was a calming contrast to the white snow that was both already on the ground and still falling to reach it.

"You'll miss your fan girls, not being at your house…teme" Naruto said, not looking down at the other boy.

"I'm not particularly worried about that. Catch…" Sasuke threw a horribly wrapped present up at the blond boy, who caught it without much thought.

"What is it?" Naruto asked, finally turning to his black haired teammate.

"Open it and you'll find out" Sasuke stated simply, looking up at him expectantly. Naruto opened the present carefully, not ripping the paper in the slightest. It revealed a small white rectangle with a screen in the top.

"An iPOD…for…me?" Naruto looked at Sasuke in complete shock. Sasuke simply nodded. Naruto looked down at the music device before smiling slightly. He reached into his pocket and threw a horribly wrapped present down at the black haired boy. He caught it and opened it, not caring about the wrapping paper. Once the paper fell off he smiled slightly. In his hand was a brand new kunai holster and arm guards.

"Thanks…Naruto."

"Yeah…thanks, Sasuke."

_  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am   
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_


End file.
